Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.