i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.