I must be too annoying 4 u.
ugly people sure do ruin things
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.