Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.