Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
