just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
