Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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