"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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