Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
