just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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