Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
