She said her name was "party"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The feeling are messing with the penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
