For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
