yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
