Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
