my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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