She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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