His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
