im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
