Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
