The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
