my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize