I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
