Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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