just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
