I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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