i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
