i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
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I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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