i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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