After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
