but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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