Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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