You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
