apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
