She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
