you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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