Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
