Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
