Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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