And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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