it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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