how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
