when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
