Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
