I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
