and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sext me about skeletons
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
