Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I deserve this hangover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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