quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
