Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
