Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
