I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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