Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize