The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize