Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
