Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
