Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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