I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
