i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
