mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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