Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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