I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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