End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
